Meet Squidward Tentacles, SpongeBob's neighbor

I got my Entertainment Weekly magazine in the mail the other day. I didn’t really have time to read through it until yesterday though. Some pretty cool stuff in it, as usual (if you can’t tell, I’m kind of “plugged-in”).

In the back of the magazine, once a month, my favorite author, Stephen King, writes an article – Pop of King – in which he talks about whatever mindless blather he comes up with. Sometimes it’s a book review, which it is (sort of) this month. Last month he talked about what is right now my favorite television show – Lost.

I’m getting off on a tangent now (you have been forewarned). In his Lost article, King basically has a message for the writers of the show – end it when it ends. I couldn’t agree more. Too many quality shows (and in some cases, movies) are ruined because the people involved want to milk the cow for all she’s worth. You can find tons of examples of this (X-Files on TV, the Batman and Superman movie sequels). Lost is one of the best-written shows I’ve ever seen on TV. It’s creative, funny, dramatic and fantastic, with plot-twists that are mind-bending. I would give anything to be able to be a part of the unbelievable talent that goes into the production of this show.

Back to the original topic. This month’s King article talks about how a writer, who’s name escapes me, is “blaming” his new book (of which the title escapes me too) on Stephen King. King, intrigued by this, read the book (wouldn’t you?) and realized that the person wrote a heckuva good story, and King realized that it was because the author globbed together a bunch of different “Stephen King moments” and it was good. King also realized that the author nearly mimicked his writing style (parenthetical insertions and all). And that made me realize – I use parenthetical insertions all the time (sounds dirty).

It’s amazing to me how that worked out. I see it a lot now, going back and reading things I’ve written. I have two, maybe three authors I read a lot of. And my writing style has evolved into a glob of all three – Crichton, King and Rowling. Isn’t that strange? And wonderful?

I find myself humming two very different songs today – “Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies / Farewell and adieu you ladies of Spain. / For we received orders for to sail back to Boston / And soon never more will we see you again” (from the movie Jaws)
And – “Why do you build me up (build me up)/Buttercup baby, just to let me down (Let me down)/And mess me around?/And worst of all (worst of all)/You never call baby when you say you will” (The Foundations)

They took a picture of a giant squid. You wouldn’t catch me anywhere near that. Unless I was pushing Snape into the lake near Hogwarts.

Chad Pennington is out for the season, and the NY Jets signed 43-year old Vinny Testaverde as quarterback. Is it just me or are old people taking over the world?

A man’s girlfriend was mad at him. “You never take me anyplace expensive anymore,” she said. So he took her to a gas station.