21 Things

OK, for any regular readers, apologies for the gaps in posting...I think we have all had a busy week for various reasons. I returned from a retreat this weekend and my daughter is working on being a jack-o-lantern for Halloween, therefore she hasn't slept all week.

In imitation of lists I have seen at numerous other blogs...here is a list of 21 things about me which may or may not be true. Pick out which ones you think are true and which ones you think are false. I'm tagging lumpy to do his 21 things and then he can tag others and so on.

1. I am a Jane Austen fanatic.
2. Growing up, we always had St. Bernards.
3. I have been an activist in a national hunger campaign.
4. I worked for 2 years decorating cakes for a local supermarket.
5. It was at this supermarket that Lumpy and I met.
6. I broke the arm off of a Mary statue with a baseball when I was 7.
7. I own over 200 cookbooks.
8. I have a graduate degree in library science.
9. My father is my hero.
10. I'm double-jointed and so can do some pretty wacky things.
11. I have been in 15 community theatre productions.
12. I am a soap opera fanatic.
13. I have a hidden talent for playing Magic the Gathering.
14. My best friend and I used to go through the sprinklers of a private golf course on our bikes on summer nights.
15. My dad photographed the Wrigley's gum ads.
16. While on vacation, I once tripped over Mel Torme's phone cord.
17. The leader of a mom's group I am in is the mother of a member of a well-known band.
18. Lumpy calls my 6 month old daughter the rodent, and has a column about her.
19. I am a closet Martha Stewart fan.
20. My favorite bands are Jars of Clay and Casting Crowns.
21. Lumpy proposed to me at McDonalds.

Come sail away

In keeping with the theme here at 20 Degrees Off Center, "quint's Greatest Hits" has been postponed for a few days so you can hear one of my harrowing tales of fright and woe.

When I was little, we had a Slip'n'Slide. You know what this is? It's basically a plastic strip, sometimes like fifty feet long and maybe three feet wide. You throw a sprinkler on it to make it wet, and then you run and slide on it. You get wet. And then, after a while, the grass and lawn get really wet, and soon, at one end of the Slip'n'Slide, you have a nice mudhole. So now, you are not only wet, but muddy too. The mud hole doesn't matter in this story. I'm good at getting off on tangents.

I remember this dream very vividly. I must have been ten or even younger when I had it. Just a little guy, I was...

I go walking outside, and it's a beautiful day. The sun is shining and the grass looks brand new glinting and reflecting the light. What little breeze there is smells of grass and flowers. Birds sing. I look around and see that it's a great day for the Slip'n'Slide. I go into the garage and get it and a sprinkler. I walk around to the side lawn and set the sprinkler down. Then, I call for my sister, two years younger than me. "I need help!"

She comes running over, and without either of us saying anything, she grabs one end of the plastic strip and I grab the other. We both know what we need to do - lay the Slip'n'Slide on the lawn and then use the little metal tacky things to hold it down. The wind's picking up now, so it's a two-person job, holding this thing on the ground and not letting it blow away. We decide that the best way to stretch it out is to each grab an end and pull it out. As we do that, the wind picks up and grabs the Slip'nSlide like a parachute. I'm holding on as hard as I can, and so is she. But the wind is so strong! I'm holding on to the plastic, but my feet can't hold the groud!

The next thing I know, I'm getting pulled straight up into the air, while my younger sister stands on the ground yelling for me to come back down. I'm holding on for dear life, because I can feel myself getting pulled ever upward. She yells, "Just let go, you'll come down!"

So I do.

And I don't come back down. I keep floating up! Higher, and higher! I'm doing anything I can to get back down, swimming, kicking, screaming, but nothing works. I keep going higher, until everything is a speck on the ground. That's were I woke up.

That's where I wake up.

I still have that dream. Or variations of it. It's not always a Slip'nSlide, once it was a kite, another time I was in a boat with Lumpy and two others. Another time I was in a golf cart.

It's dorky, I know. And funny too. But not when you're dreaming it. Have you ever seen The Forgotten? Yeah, it's that scary, when I'm dreaming it.

I just went back and read this post. It's not as funny as I thought it was going to be. Sorry about that. (Then again, maybe it is funny, it's just so dang scary to me, I dunno...as they say, quint's brain has gone all Texas on him!)

Here's a joke to make this funnier:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

More BUMPS

I had some bizarre fears, too. Lumpy discussed the toilet. I was scared of it, but for another reason. I was also afraid of the shower. Not at our house, but only at our summer cottage. Our summer cottage was located in the Finger Lakes. There was a story floating around there about a poisonous snake that had come into the pipes and up through someone's shower a few years back. Urban legend, perhaps. But I definitely thought this was possible. Now I had nightmares about snakes for years. I still get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach at the zoo and growing up I was convinced I felt snakes slithering up my legs as I was falling asleep. My parent's subscribed me to Ranger Rick magazine and if I found a snake picture I would literally throw the magazine on the floor. I was a strange kid...OK, still am. Anyhow, I would stand on the far side of the shower watching the drain the whole time. If possible, I would bathe in the lake to avoid it. I feared the toilet too, but since there was no story about the toilet I figured chances are the snake would come up through the shower instead.

Stirring

Well, lately I've felt a bit stir-crazy. Seemed like the most exciting thing in my day was sorting laundry and the occasional walk around the block to check out the strange happenings of the neighborhood. Of which, I'm sorry to say that the most exciting thing in our neighborhood is a little old man who walks the town all day long. So, it was good to get out for a MOPS meeting.

As I go in to drop my child off the child care worker not once, but three times refers to my daughter as my son. This bothered me at first, until I realized she is calling every child in there a boy (and all but one are girls). Furthermore she tells one woman "I'm sorry, but your daughter looks like a boy."

Anyway, it was great to have an excuse to get out. We had some creme brulee french toast with an egg casserole, applesauce muffins, and orange juice for breakfast. There is a devotion, time to socialize, costume exchange, and then some small group discussion. I've noticed when moms get together it is no holds barred. For instance, today there was a lengthy discussion on potty training, what it entails, the difficulties in cleaning up the accidents, using pull-ups for #2s, etc., etc. Now Hipp was raised in a very prim and proper family, certain words for bodily functions were not ever used, not to mention during a meal. But apparently others don't share these verbal taboos.

All things which go BUMP in the night

I thought that I would take a momment to share one of my more embarassing childhood beliefes. I can not take credit for the idea to do this as I got it from this site http://spiltmilkblog.blogspot.com/. And so with out further ado.

Isn't it crazy the things that little kids believe and get scared of? That boiler in the basement. The cemetary at night. The chair in your bedroom that makes that eery shadow on the wall. Yet I've never found anyone who had quite the same fear as me. I was, in fact, afraid of flushing the toilet. At some point after being potty trained I got it into my Lumpy head that there was an evil geanie who lived in the toilet. And this geanie would come rushing up from the hole in the bottom of the toilet when the toilet was flushed and grab ahold of your naked bottom and pull you back down through the hole along with everything else there.

And so for years if someone was able to watch me without my knowing it they would see me go into the bathroom. Do my business. Get up, stare at the toilet handle for a few seconds. Pull the handle and then run as fast as my little adrenaline filled legs could carry me out of the bathroom down the hall and into my bedroom. Where I would half jump half dive into bed where I felt safe. Or if it were day time I'd come sprinting round the corner down the hall and into the kitchen where I would slow down and pretend everything was just fine.

Even back then I realized the fear was silly. I'm happy to say however that I grew out of it. After flushing the toilet at work I do not immediatly begin a terror filled sprint for my cube.

Running with dogs

It's been a long week.

What's that? It's only Monday, you say? Not for me. Today is Glorpday, or whatever they'd call the eighth day of the week, if we ever decide we need one (God forbid). I've had to work for eight straight days! It's been a long week. Looking forward to getting a weekend.

I was at my parents house on Saturday (the 6th day of my week) and they have a little white dog. This little white dog, Tommy (Tommy Girl), she's a little cutie. I love her to death. But she's got this issue, it's either a skin allergy or some kind of thyroid problem or something, where she's just itching herself like crazy. They did the flea dip, and have taken her to the vet like 6 times - different diagnosis each time. Anyhow, this isn't the point of the story.

So Tommy's been itching herself a lot. And when dogs itch, they do whatever they can to satisfy said itch. Cats do it too - if they must, they lick themselves - not just on the whatsits and stuff, but their paws and stuff too. And on a longer-haired dog, the saliva-smell starts getting...not good. Mom and I, being the only two in the house at the time, decided it was stinky enough. So mom decided to give Tommy a bath. "When I'm done, will you take eher outside for me?" Mom asked. See, when Tommy's done with a bath, she gets excited and needs to pee (I'm the same way....but that's another story entirely). "Sure," I said.

So I sat down, no, laid down, on the couch and started watching the USC-Notre Dame game. I had been working since 7 that morning, so I was a little tired. I nodded off. I didn't want to, because the game was one of those ones that's an instant classic. It really was - I did catch the last bit, and let me tell you, one of the best college games I've ever seen. So there I was, in that glorious state of floaty self-awareness between sleep and waking, when mom's voice calls. "quint," she says (not really, because that's not my name), "She's ready to go out!"

"Hmmph? Oh, OK."

I get up, grab the little doggy and put the leash on her. "Ready to go out, Tom?" I sure am, she barks. I open the door and step out onto the deck. Down one step, but not down two. Suddenly, unexpectedly, BLINDINGLY, my ankle rolls out from under me. Snap, crack snap...The dog pulls me, I gotta pee! I pull myself up, not seeing anything, and hop with the dog to the spot where she pees. I can't breathe; I can feel the sick rising in my throat.

This is the part where I even impress myself: I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket. Call mom in the house. "Help me," I pant. I can't walk, and my foot hurts. "I'll be right out," she answers.

I hobble back into the house, the sick feeling going away, but the pain still shooting up my leg.

Two days later, I can move my foot, but not much. It's kinda swollen. And it hurts to drive.

Coming Soon to 20 Degrees Off Center: A post by Lumpy? Maybe, if we're lucky. But that's not what I'm talking about...No, coming soon is "quint's greatest hits" Music, books, movies and more - things everyone should hear, see or do before they leave this incredibly rich planet we live on. Number 1 on that list: Not falling down while taking a dog for a pee.

And also

Double Stuff Oreos rock.

So do Whopper Jrs.

My eye is twitching.

U2 is less than two months away.

I suck at gambling. Unless the other theme-park storyteller is at the table and he decides he wants to play BlackJack.

I miss my old job. They catered lunch. Every day. And had a steam room.

My eye just stopped twitching. Nope, there is goes again.

I like pepperoni.

What the world wants to know about Hipp (or doesn't)

Thanks, Lumpy. I will try to answer these the best I can with a squirming 6 month-old on my lap. I think Lumpy knows the answer to most if not all of these, but they are good questions.

What is your purpose in blogging?
The creative side of me has gone dormant too long. I need an outlet and the blogosphere is an excellent place for that. I read frequently and it provides a place for me to give my thoughts on the book world. I also enjoy being able to rant and write about whatever strange things pop into my head. Welcome to my world.

If there is one thing that you could convey to people through your blogging what would it be?
Well, even though my blog entries aren't often related to religion, knowing Jesus Christ is the most important part of my life. I hope that this will come through in everything I do. Though there are many times when I fail miserably at this, God is more than faithful and is still willing to mold me and shape me to become who He wants me to be. Aside from that I hope people will be able to put aside the day-to-day monotony and chuckle or spend a moment pondering. Hopefully, they will come back from their lunch break a little refreshed.

What is your favorite season and why?
I actually love Winter. The only thing I don't like about it is the darkness. My birthday is right before Christmas, so I love December. I love making Christmas cookies with my mother and grandmother. I love eating them with a cup of hot cocoa or tea. While munching, I enjoy reading a good book. I like the excuse to stay at home and relax, pop in a good movie. I love the smell of dinner in the crockpot and I love spending time browsing through my many cookbooks and picking a comfort meal. I love picking out a Christmas tree and decorating it. I love New Year's Day with the feeling of a fresh start. I love Christmas music. I also love celebrating my husband's birthday, by doing something special. Anyway, I guess that's enough tangent, but there are so many things I love in the Winter.

If you could go anywhere and see anything you wanted where would you go first?
I would love to go to the Middle East. I want to see all the sites where Jesus walked. I want to visit the Pyramids in Egypt. I want to walk the Via Dolorosa and see the empty tomb. I want to take the Lord's Supper in His native land. I think it would be fun to go with someone like Chuck Missler or Bob Cornuke that has background in biblical archaeology and geography. Aside from that, I would really love to go to Prince Edward Island (sorry, Lumpy). As Lumpy mentioned I love the work of L. M. Montgomery. All the photos of PEI make it look so beautiful, the colors are all so vivid. I'm told this is because it rains so much. I also love seafood and I'm told they have some of the best lobster there.


You just woke up and found yourself in a tree on a mountain in the middle of no where. What is your first thought?
Probably, where is my daughter?? Then, oh crap how do I get down. This is assuming Lumpy is the reason I'm in this tree which is more than likely the case, :).

Give one reason why Anne of Avonlea should never ever under any circumstances be played in your household again.
Anne of Avonlea results in visits from Canadians who bring strange torture devices for Beasts.

What is your dream job?
Being a parent is the greatest job in the world. I get paid with smiles and hugs. Other than that it would be fabulous to be an editor for a top publishing company. I think I would do fairly well at finding good literature. Or to be the poet laureate of the United States.

Why is blue considered cold and Red considered hot?
Because God said so. I know, classic copout.

Name three things garunteed to make you smile.
1. Lumpy's goofy sense of humor
2. Watching my daughter.
3. A fabulous meal and a good book with time to enjoy them both.

What is the #1 need of spouses?
To have their husband stop poking them in the sides repeatedly or to have their wives not kiss them with lip gloss on.

Why Can't a Woman...

Well, seeing as how Quint has posted 4 blog entries in a row, I guess its my turn. Are you sure this isn't your superpower, Quint the Super Blogger?

Lumpy and I have been trying to find more shared hobbies. Why he doesn't think watching The Harvey Girls while creating a memory quilt using scanned in photos from various points in our relationship is beyond me. Seriously, though, the Lumpys have unbelievably strange shared pastimes. Some of these include walking through cemetaries and taking photographs, reading parodies to each other as bedtime stories and playing Magic the Gathering.

In an attempt to share more hobbies, the Lumpy's began going to a local gaming store and looking for hobbies they could share. Whenever Hipp walks into this particular store she feels like a bird on a bicycle. Although I'm sure there are many who have observed Hipp in a bookstore, reading the backs of books for well over an hour who have been thoroughly convinced she is an alien life form with a spawn attached in her Baby Bjorn. Anyhow the Lumpy's went into this particular store and decided to try out several games, including Magic the Gathering, Axis and Allies, and Warhammer 40K. Now Hipp is beginning to understand the demographics of this particular store. Imagine your Grandmother walking into this store and asking to purchase a set of eldar (aliens) for her Warhammer 40K set.

Seriously, though, studies that have been done on the needs of men and women in relationships find that recreational companionship is the #2 need of most men (venture your own guess on #1). So this is an actual need. Whereas, I really enjoy doing things with my husband...this manifests itself in different ways. I don't recall feeling hurt that he doesn't want to make candles together or help me put together the latest scrapbook page of my daughter.

So, the ending of this somewhat uninspired post is this...I need to go and paint my Eldar...So often the things we keep putting off...the little things can be most important to those we love...

Questions...questions that need answering...

**Bonus points if you can name the movie the title of this post is taken from**
Below, in the comments to my wicked cool Green Lantern post, Lumpy asked me a few questions. The answers are probably a little more deep and probing than what Lump expected, but hey, you never know what you're going to get with me...I'm like Chex Party Mix or something. You could get a pretzel, you could get a chip...you never really know...

Today I think it's a pretzel.

How do you come up with ideas to blog about?
Wow. Tough one to start with. I have no idea. Let's see...I see something crazy on TV or on the internet, and I'll blog about that. I'll read something interesting and write about that. Something will happen to me, and I'll write about that. I have a pretty unique view on the world and things that people say and do, and I like to think my view is pretty entertaining. Maybe it isn't, but it is to me!


What made you want to start blogging in the first place?
Sheer and complete boredom. And the fact that I like to write and if I don't get it out of me somehow, somewhere, I'll go crazy and become the nutty old man who lives in his attic with stuffed animals he spends all day talking to. Plus, I saw Lumpy's other blog and wanted to play around too.

You've just mistaken the locker area of a prominant theame park for the changing room and dropped your pants in full view of everyone. What do you do?
Well, if I'm Lumpy, I continue with said disrobing and go on my merry *ahem* little full-frontal nudity way. If I'm quint, I proudly continue on with what I'm doing. No, I'm kidding. I probably die of embarassment at the moment I realized what's happening, and then die a thousand deaths over the rest of my lifetime as my best friends, making good on a pact they made that very day, recount the story to everyone they ever meet, including the daughter of the President of the United States.


If you could change one thing you've done in the past what would it be?
Here's where quint gets deep: I don't like to ever say "should've." But that's not humanly posssible. There was this time I ordered a chicken sandwich when I wanted a burger, but...
OK seriously. I would have been nicer to people that weren't nice to me. That's not to say that I was a jerk to them, it's just that if a person was a jerk to me, I had a tendancy not to care how I treated them, and that's not right. Everyone should be treated equally.

Who is your hero?
How do you ask this question, man, in a Green Lantern post?!
My hero. The person I aspire to be like in every way. I don't think it's one person, and I'm not taking the easy way out here. My hero is my mom and my dad. I see how they raised us, and I appreciate the work that went into that. My hero is the man who can run into a burning building while everyone else is running out. My hero is the waitress who, after working for 9 straight hours just to support her family, goes home and sews her kids costume for the play the next day, and then works another 9 hours and still makes it to the play. My hero is a rich person who knows it and doesn't show it. My hero is the person who can put a smile on people's faces. My hero is the person no one knows, but everyone remembers. My hero is all the people who came before me. I just hope I can live up to the standard they set, because, gosh it's high.

You can have one superpower. What is it? why?
I would choose invisibility. Because I could go into the girls locker room. And, because I could beat the bad guys.

Can you smell what the rock is cooking?
Yes, and it smells like dirty socks.

If you could take any 3 things with you onto a deserted island what would they be? (You can assume the island has power)
Oooh, an island with power! Is it a mystical power, like the island on Lost? No? You mean electrical power? Oh. Well, that's exciting too.
1. pen and paper, because I need to get thoughts out sometimes
2. my recliner. It would be incredible to watch the sunset on the beach in my way cool recliner.
3. my boat. Not the leave the island, God forbid, I wouldn't do that. Just to play. I'm one of those people who would actually love to be stranded on a deserted island.

What's your biggest fear?
Birds. Scare the bejesus outta me.
Not being a good dad once I start having kids. That's a pretty big deal.
Oh, yeah, and zombies returned from the dead hunting me down to eat my brains. That's scary too.

Why did you choose the name Quint?
Easy. Craziest character from my favorite movie, Jaws. I like crazy. You can never get enough wackiness, especially when a hungry man-eating shark bigger than your boat is coming for you.

Snakes and gators and doggie danglers, oh my!

Breaking news from the Things You Don't Wanna Know Department:

**warning, this information may take up space in your brain. please clear a spot for it. we reccomend that you toss out your brother's birthday and the recepie for chocolate cookies for this essential information**

Our first item: Everglades, Florida - A Burmese Python was found to have burst after attempting to eat an alligator. The python was suspected to have been abandoned in the everglades by a pet owner who no longer wanted to care for the animal.

The everglades are swampy marshes in southern Florida, teeming with wildlife no human wants to get near. Apparently two of those types of wildlife had a bit of a standoff with no winner in the end.

Burmese Pythons are kind of a constrictor-type snake. They wrap themselves around their prey and then swallow them whole, sometimes taking months to digest their food. As the snake tried to digest its prey in this case, the alligator wisely fought back, clawing at the snake. Which, as we stated earlier, burst in the struggle. The gator also did not survive.

**we would have posted the picture, but it was not good. use your mind - think of an alligator wearing a snake for a jacket**

Our second item - Washington, DC - Artificial testicles for dogs, Nigerian Internet scammers and a team that studied the pressures created when penguins poop have won the Ig Noble prizes this year.

The doggie danglers intent is to make a neutered dog feel more self-confident and helps with the trauma involved in the neutering process. You can order these yourself (for your dog, not you) at www.neuticles.com.

The prize for literature went to Nigerian scammers for "creating and then using e-mail to distribute a bold series of short stories, thus introducing millions of readers to a cast of rich characters -- General Sani Abacha, Mrs. Mariam Sanni Abacha, Barrister Jon A Mbeki Esq." We've all gotten this email.

We aren't going to comment on the pegnguin poop. Wait, yes we are. We here at 20 Degrees Off-Center sincerely hope Danny DeVito was not involved in this study. (we also hope someone gets that batman reference)

Thank you. We now return you to your regularly scheduled boredom.

Saving the world, one drop at a time

My favorite superhero is the Green Lantern. He's not the kind of superhero everyone comes right out and says they like. But I think he's the best, because he's someone I think we all can indentify with. He doesn't really have any superpowers, he just has a really cool ring that really does pretty much what he asks it to do.

Anyone can be the Green Lantern. Anyone! All you need is the green ring of power. And - Bam! - you're a superhero. Just get out there and kick some baddy down. He's not unbelievebaly strong, he can't see through walls and he certainly can't climb them - not without his ring. Take the ring off and he's just an average guy.

All the other superheroes out there are mutants. Or rich. You take the suit off and they are still superheroes, no matter how they try to blend in. Peter Parker can still climb walls. Clark Kent can still fly. Bruce Wayne is still an insomniac. The Green Lantern? When he takes off that green ring of power, he's just plain old Alan Scott, or John Stewart, or Kyle Rayner. Once the Green Lantern wants to retire, he finds a replacement. There's no living forever here! Just a ring, and a willingness to fight evil.

All those other guys are rich mutants.

Check it out:
Batman - filthy rich dude with nothing to do and a bad case of insomnia
Spider-Man - kid who was bit by a spider and given some pretty neat powers
Any X-Man - mutants
AquaMan - talks to the fish, people!
The Flash - really fast guy
Superman - from a different planet! Hellooooo! He's be just plain "Avereageman" if his home planet didn't blow up! He gets his power from the light of earth's yellow sun! On Krypton, he'd probably be Kal-El, the fat lazy kid who won't stop whining.

I will say that Wonder Woman is pretty cool though.

Oh and just one more thing...

Deja vu anyone?

It's raining and cold again today. I have to drive around and be outside a lot today. Why couldn't I have been doing that yesterday? It was 85 and sunny!

Useless information

In case you needed some totally random facts to take up space in your brain:

• I am wearing an orange shirt.
• The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.
• Armadillos can walk under water.
• Native speakers of Japanese learn Spanish much more easily than they learn English. Native speakers of English learn Spanish much more easily than they learn Japanese.
• I can't understand Japanese. I sort of can get Spanish, but when I went to Costa Rica, I didn't need to use it. Some might say I don't do the English so good either.

What else is up in the world of quint? I'm having the same day lumpy is. Not great. Too much stress. And the worst part about the stress? Once all of it is gone, it will have all been for nothing. I will have nothing to show for all the stress.

I want to wake up some day and have someone say "What would you like to do today?" Rather than, "You have to be here, here, and there today. Oh, and you're supposed to be there while you're there, so you can't do that. And in case I didn't tell you, 17 people are going to be mad at you because you want to sit down in your favorite chair at 5:37 for two minutes instead of running to the store to buy fish (which you don't eat) and tampons (which you would never eat, or stick....places)."

None of this has happened to me, don't read any more into it. But don't some days just feel like that?

Well EXCUSE the Lumpy

Ok that's it. I can't take it anymore. I'm going into meltdown. I can't handle being totally frivolous on two blogs without having a total meltdown some place. Those of you who know me know that I'm seldom frivolous for any period time greater than an hour or two. SO I GUESS I'M THE GUY NAMED GEORGE.

Anyways I guess it's just that I'm having one of them days. I think we all have them.

Days when we get out of bed and go to work and no one cuts you off and no one is waiting to take off your head at the job and everything is oh-so-statis-quo but some how you still want to curl up in the feetal position and suck your thumb until the rest of the world dissappears. Days when all of a sudden you realize Oh my word I'm living slightly above my means and the gas price hikes alone could empty my bank account not to mention the upcoming raises in every utility known to God and the medical insurance and who knows what else. One of those days where even though it your not doing anything new or out of the ordinary you have no choice but to suck it up because you know the only things you want to do there is zero chance of you being able to do and thats the way it's been all week.

Thats the day I'm having. One where responsability and reality feel like they're out to get me and all I want to do is curl up in mom and dads lap and hear that its all going to be ok except that now I'm dad and it's my job to tell folks its all gunna be ok even when I have no idea how its going to be ok and then I have to make good on that promise. I've said it before and I'll say it again the more I learn about being a father the more appreciation I have for my own parents.

Today is one of those days that will find me on my knees if not physically then at least spiritualy waiting on God to take care of things cause I know I can't.

Thats today.

And that's why I'm having trouble being silly.

The Lumpy

Moms Clubs, or BOA

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine invited me to join an organization she belongs to. Many of you may have heard of this mom's club, its called the MOPS International. Now when she was telling me about this club, my first thought is why would I want to join a club based on my least favorite household chore. Even the mention of the name makes me shudder thinking of the sore shoulders I get on mopping day dragging that big yellow caution bucket around the house. Yes, I know you're saying I should get a Swiffer. Hipp tried that before only to find that at least in her case all it resulted in was dust being pushed around the floor to gather in clumps. End result, Hipp would wait until it dried again and sweep. So anyhow, as I heard about this club I was very skeptical.

Come to find out MOPS is of course, Mothers of Preschoolers. When I discussed this group with my husband, he felt it should be more appropriately titled BOA or Beast Owners Anonymous. It seems oddly appropriate somehow to name a women's club after a snake...And I have been known to shop at the Wegmans in the neighboring town, as my daughter's past behavior certainly makes me desire anonymity.

Anyhow, I actually did have a lovely time at this meeting. They lock up--I mean babysit--the children so the mom's can have a few hours to fellowship with other ladies. There are several things you will always find at women's meetings: food (usually of the sweet variety), chat and lots of it, and often the making of useless crafts. Not to mention the requisite get to know you activities with questions about being deserted on an island or having a million dollars.

I learned that I am not alone, and that's a scary thing in some cases. For instance, I am not the only mom who subscribes to magazines she seldom reads just to get to see another human being walking down my sidewalk. Nor am I the only one who reads blogs at 2 am, even when she knows her daughter will be up at 4 just so she can get a few hours to herself. We stay-at-home moms are strange creatures.

I have learned strange and unusual talents, as I suspect many other moms have. For instance, how to make a gourmet meal out of things in the fridge, such as chili and pickles. Making mooing sounds at my daughter in her exersaucer gives me two extra minutes in the bathroom. And don't empty the dishwasher with your child in a Baby Bjorn, but that's another story for another day...

If you own a child or small rodent, I suggest making the most of some of the wonderful clubs and support groups out there. You will find some great fellowship, discover you are not alone, and best of all eat some homecooking.

I wonder what his wife thinks...